I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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