she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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