Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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