Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
