I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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