the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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