You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
