is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
