i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize