what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
