There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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