I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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