then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
