Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
