you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
