You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
