I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
