SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
