Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
