I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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