Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
