She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
