you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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