You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
