well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Come on in and take your pants off
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