my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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