he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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