hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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