I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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