question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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