roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
