hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
