I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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