She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we made out on top of his cat.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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