You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
