I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
