my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you didnt know i had herpes?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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