haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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