what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
