Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
