fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Your dad touched me again.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
