he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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