Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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(630): View more from Illinois

you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page

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(907): View more from Alaska

There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.

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(845): View more from New York

Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.

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(616): View more from Michigan

If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow

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(636): View more from Missouri

Dude, running 15 min late.

(1-636): View more from Missouri

Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.

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