She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
