Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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