I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
