I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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