You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
