Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
