How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
