I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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