hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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