is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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