Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
