i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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