Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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