Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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