Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
