I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
