Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
