I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
