Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
