i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
