Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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