You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
