I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
