Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
