i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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