But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish my penis had a tongue
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
