i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
