Sry I called you an 8
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
